Is abortion just a simple medical procedure? Four former abortionists who met in Chicago in February of this year told audiences about the horrors involved in the abortion industry – and made public apologies for what they had done to promote the practice. These individuals have joined a growing number of men and women in the American medical profession who are rejecting the philosophy behind the Roe Vs. Wade decision – because of what it has done to harm unborn children and their mothers.
Dr. McArthur Hill, Denver, Colorado
“I am a murderer. I have taken the lives of innocent babies. I have torn babies from the womb. I have poisoned babies by injecting salt solution into the bag of waters … I did not feel right about doing abortions. My justification was that it was legal and that patients wanted it done.
“Abortion started to get to me in my dreams. I had a recurring nightmare in which I delivered a healthy, newborn baby. I held the baby up and faced a jury of faceless people, asking them what I should do with the baby. ‘Thumbs up or thumbs down?’ On the floor underneath the baby was a bucket of water for drowning the baby if the jury gave a verdict of thumbs down. I never put the baby in the bucket because I would always wake up.
“I started to cut back on the number of abortions I performed. When I moved back to Colorado, I did two abortions by prostaglandin because of Down’s syndrome, but I began to develop the conviction that abortion was an evil that had to be stopped. One day a pastor came to my office and preached the gospel to me, persuading me to commit my life to Jesus Christ. That was when I quit doing abortions altogether.”
Dr. David Brewer, Glen Ellyn, Illinois
“I didn’t have a moral or ethical background when I went into residency. I remember the first abortion I witnessed. It was performed by the resident physician. I didn’t know what to expect. It was my job afterward to undo the jar and see what was inside. It was a new experience, and I’ve always found it exciting to learn new things. When I opened the little bag, the resident physician said, ‘Put it on the blue cloth to see if we got everything out.’
“I put it on the towel, and there were parts of a person. I saw a head, ribs, tiny hands, arms. It was as if someone put a hot poker into me. I had a conscience, and that hurt. I said, ‘I guess you got it all.’ I had no real convictions, and I was caught in the middle. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t talk to anyone. I got to see another abortion, and then another. As I saw more abortions, it hurt less.
“The first one I did was hard. But after a while, it didn’t hurt. My heart was calloused against the fact that I was a murderer. When I was an intern I had to take care of the ‘candy apple babies’ (Babies who are delivered after saline abortions usually look similar in color to a candy apple because the outer layer of skin is burned off by the poisonous salt solution.) One night a lady delivered, and I was called to see her because she was uncontrollable. She was going to pieces, screaming and thrashing. All the patients were upset. I walked in, and there was her little saline abortion baby kicking and moving for a little while before it died of those terrible burns. I watched that more and more.
“When I became a Christian, I realized life begins at conception. It was very simple to stop doing abortions.”
Dr. Beverly McMillan, Jackson, Mississippi
“I was not a reluctant participant in abortion. I was a radical feminist. During my residency at Cook County Hospital in Chicago in 1969, I made my decision to be an abortionist. At the hospital I noticed that quite a number of women who were bleeding and running a fever were being admitted. I started IV’s and gave blood and antibiotics to the patients. About halfway through the night, it dawned on me that these women were coming from Chicago’s illegal abortion mills.
“At the end of six weeks, I was angry at what I had seen. I thought that women should have a safe abortion and I would provide it. At that time, there was not one abortion center in the entire state of Mississippi. A group of ‘concerned citizens and clergy’ had already lined up a place to rent and had hired nurses and counselors. Everything was ready to open the first abortion mill in Mississippi, except that they needed a physician willing to become the ‘town abortionist.’ I initially declined, but later determined that I would run the best abortion facility in the country.
The new abortion mill was running smoothly. We only offered first trimester abortions because I felt later abortions were riskier. Nevertheless, I did experience complications, the worst of which was perforating a uterus and suctioning a piece of small bowel into the tube. I was so depressed I couldn’t stand it. I started considering Christianity, and at one point prayed the scripture, ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’ One day an employee at the mill asked to see the contents of the sock in the suction machine. I saw a beautiful arm, and I thought, ‘What are you doing?’ That was one of the last abortions I did.
“In the fall of 1978 I was baptized and I resigned from the abortion mill. Today I am a sidewalk counselor and was the first ex-abortionist to be arrested and jailed for sitting in at an abortuary. I have been arrested three times for participating in rescue missions.”
Nita Whitten, Dallas, Texas, Former Clinic Assistant
“When I started working at the Fairmount Center in Dallas, I was a radical feminst and completely pro-abortion. But I became traumatized by what I saw every day. It’s hard to work in a place where there is no love.
“One woman came into the clinic forcing her daughter to have an abortion. The daughter was in the second trimester at 15 weeks. She kept going to the bathroom, and it seemed that something was definitely wrong. Then the girl started screaming at the top of her lungs, ‘It’s a baby! Mama! Mama!’ The doctor was in the middle of a procedure and couldn’t come. She’ll be scarred for life for seeing her baby in the toilet, which is where it landed.
“Another woman got an abortion because she had twins. Everyone went in to see what the twins looked like after the abortion. I had never been in the procedure room. I wanted to avoid it. In my heart, I knew they were babies, and I knew abortion was murder.
“I became depressed, despondent, and hooked on drugs. I took drugs to wake up, took speed at work, and took pot and alcohol in the evening. I also took birth control pills and developed amenorrhea. The abortion mill assumed I was pregnant and gave me an abortion, but it turned out I wasn’t pregnant. Furthermore, the phantom abortion led to complications, including a severe pelvic infection.
“Finally, when I decided to give my life to the Lord, I got out of the abortion business. I told my husband that I wanted to get out of the ‘rat race’ and get a new job in a new town. Then, when I got pregnant, a physician recommended that I get an abortion because of the drugs I had taken. He predicted deformity. I absolutely refused to get the abortion, and now I have a beautiful four-year-old girl – my ‘miracle baby’ whose picture I always carry with me.”
These testimonies were given at the “Meet the Abortion Providers” conference in February, 1989, at the Chicago O’Hare Marriott, sponsored by the Pro-Life Action League. This excerpt is reprinted by permission.
Audio tapes of the abortionists’ complete testimonies are available for $20, and video tapes for $40. Contact: Pro-Life Action League, 6160 N. Cicero Avenue, Suite #210, Chicago, IL 60646.
