Lawrence Iceberg
1575 Dixie Way
Melbourne, FL 32936

Dear Lawrence,

I read your cruel and unloving comments against my friends at Aware Woman Center for Witchcraft and I am outraged! As the pastor of the First Church of the Seabreeze, I feel that it is my duty to tell you that your comments have set the Wiccan-Christian common ground movement back to the Dark Ages. Your crusade against their church is nothing more than a witch hunt!

Just where do you get off persecuting these people anyway! My good friend Patricia Weird-Bindle, of the pro-choice Wiccan movement, says that your comments in last Sunday’s Sentinel have caused her to suffer innumerable instances of persecution, nastiness and meanness. Since last Sunday, she has been pelted with grapefruits, tangelos, passion-fruits, kiwis, watermelons, cantaloupes, cucumbers, under-ripe kumquats and jalapeños.

Furthermore, your comments are offensive to all members of my church who also happen to be Wiccans. So stop giving these witches such a hard time! After all, it’s their right under the U.S. Constitution to worship in the church of their choice. Even though I don’t agree with some of their theology, these people have the right to worship wherever they want. If you don’t stop your nastiness, pretty soon the government will revoke the church’s tax exempt status. And then where will we be? We’ll have to get involved in politics, that’s where!

You are taking all the love out of the Christian message and wanting to replace it with the Ten Commandments. So I ask you in the name of Christian love – Stop this witch hunt!

Yours very truly,

Rev. Ken Blabbermouth